Mr. Coolidge I'll pretend to be your friend I will smile from at my podium When the moderator says your name To alleviate the tedium Of the intro to the first debate Though they don't know What my actuary's premonitions show I'll let it go You can have this one today Mr. Coolidge I'll pretend to be your friend I'll politely send condolences When I hear what Harding's left to you And attest to your courageousness As the obligation crushes you "Four more years!" Look who got himself his own term "Keep it cool!" One you sort of had to earn Run away Aren't you glad that Hoover's got you? Easy prey Nothing left for me to do or say Mr. Coolidge I'm afraid your time has come After everything we put you through Do you think you'll leave a legacy? Will the things that you had tried to do Measure to what Hoover's left to me? Still, I'm glad you were alive to hear I won Credits