Handsome guys get girls that are pretty Other guys make it cause they're clever and witty But the only love I ever got I got out of pity cause I'm the ugliest man in town Yeah I drive down the street in a Roys Rolls car Use hundred dollar bills when I light my cigar But you know folks that really don't get you very far When you're the ugliest man in town There was a note on the doorstep where I was found Is said this poor child weighs eleven pounds So bring him up healthy and welthy and sound Keep his back to the light don't let him turn around Yeah all you women you're heartless and cold all you want is my silver and gold Don't you know I've got a beautiful soul though I'm the ugliest man in town Yeah I'm so ugly I gotta shave in the dark The kids start to cry when I walk through the park The clock stop tickin' and dogs start to bark whenever I come around Oh oh oh I walk down the street the girls all hiss me If I died tomorrow not one of them would miss me Only reason they ball me is they can't stand to kiss me I'm the ugliest man in town oh yeah the ugliest man in town