The ugly tattooed swingers euphemise And call their mucky hobby "tryst" But if i saw another man touch you I'd break his fucking wrists "Monogamy's not natural, we can't survive" That's what he'll say He loves to swap, he's open-minded But don't dare suggest he's gay And maybe we're just lucky Maybe our connection is unique And if that's really just what normal people do Aren't you proud to be a freak? The so-called "doctor" gray's a billionaire Because he's got the sexes sussed We're a different race, we can't communicate And mind-games are a must But if you need a man, just buy the book And follow all the rules There's no-one quicker to splash out Than vulnerable, desperate lonely fools Do you know enough to circle me a "yes" In just three minutes, can i suitably impress Why don't we ignore the whistle Just a look, a smile, a kiss'll tell you All you really need to know And maybe we're just different Maybe we're nature's surprise So put down the book, log off, And keep your wallet closed And just look me in the eyes