Overwhelmed, overworked, overpaid
I'm on top of the world sitting pretty on a stack
But the static still cracks in my veins
At the bottom of the universe I'm feelin' all the weight
People die for this, people lie for this
People suck and fuck some guy for this
Pay the toll for this, sell their soul for this
Play my part, but what's my role in this?
I'm not built for this, all the guilt of this
And I don't think I can deal with this
I'm too old for this, gonna fold from this
People starvin' and I get gold for this?
You all chalk me up as some whiney fuck
Who's stressed by success, like my life sucks?
I get it, I know, it's such a conundrum
I get what I want, but I can't have much fun with it
It's not the fame or the money I'm yearnin'
I don't give a fuck about what I've been earnin'
But each day I wake up more blessed and I'm learnin'
Of all of these people, I'm least to deserve it
I don't deserve it
I try to be perfect, I'll never be perfect
I'm not worth it
Keep lookin' for answers, I swear I've been searchin'
But come up short, and I give up quick
'Cause if I found it, I think I'd be scared of it
You don't see the scene that's behind the screen
And I urge you all to beware of it
It's an interesting dichotomy of monetized sincerity
Stir up my insecurity with constant uncertainty
Generation of Anxiety, The "Look at me" Society
Dubiety of piety, the gods all suffer silently
I'm sorry for my obsession with attention
I have ungodly fear of rejection
My apprehension and objection is the viral infection
Of dollars and followers in place of affection
What I need is a human connection
Not blue light and a foggy reflection
Of my misconception of my own perception
A result of way too much introspection
They find my disinterest interesting
My depression, a funny thing
My decline is relatable
People love that I hate myself
People love that I hate myself
Yeah, they love that I hate myself
People love that I hate myself
People love that I hate myself
I climbed out of my head and watched myself implode
A thought without a body ought to be a shot to take a load off
My brain is poisoned and I'm searching for the antidote
But every time I find it, my defenses scream, "Oh, no you don't!"
Woah, but it's fine
No, really I'm fine
It's just a matter of time, you'll cross the line
And lose your mind from time to time
I'm not crazy
But I feel crazy all of a sudden
In a city never seeing snow or rain or leaves in autumn
Lose yourself in seasons, not remembering that you forgot 'em
Knocking on my door
I can't confront 'em, so I lock 'em out
But I don't mind
No, I really don't mind (I really don't mind)
'Cause believe it or not
It feels good to be forgot from time to time (forgot from time to time)
So, forget me
And please, God, forgive me
If you feel a touched underwhelmed
By all my overwhelming negativity (negativity)
Who am I and when?
When's my work day end
And where does "me" begin?
Are these my colleagues or my friends?
On a scale from 10 to 1
Do you hate who I've become?
'Cause I hate who I've become