In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
Great sacrifice
Magnificent vessel appears in the sky
The Hootsforce arrives into Cowdenbeath
Prepare for the warfare of ultimate destiny
Into the battle the heroes make fight
Fast as Dundonian lightning they strike
The armies of evil will die on the field
They'll die by our steel
And the battlefield of Cowdenbeath fell silent
As the black gates of the fortress of Crail opened wide
Atop a horde of undead eagles
The grim armies of the Deathknights of Crail
Rode out to meet the forces of justice
And at the vanguard of this terrible host
Stood the Grandmaster himself, Dreadlord Proletius!
From the black gate evil Deathknights attack
Proletius is leading the chaos charge
Slaughtering peasants with deadly impunity
Ralathor fires his final defence
Missiles of nuclear justice
The Deathknights are suddenly vaporized
Proletius dies
For the king of Space we will fight to end disgrace
In our once proud land we will make our stand!
When the dark lord comes we will shoot our laser guns
For the glory of mighty Dundee!
Mwah-ha-ha-ha! Such a pathetic display of valor!
You are naught but insignificant worms
Before the infinite power of Zargothrax!
Now, the solar conjunction is at hand
My ascension to godhood is inevitable!
And there is nothing you can do to stop me!
Worship my omnipotence!
From the heavens comes a hero
Mighty Hootsman
Vanitati latinae canentis
Hootus Dei!
With a flash of thunder
A god falls from the sky
With holy armor made from wolf
The Hootsman has arrived!
Side by side with Angus
The warriors make fight
Hootsman fires a laser blast
Shoots goblins out of sight
From the heavens comes a hero
Mighty Hootsman
Vanitati latinae canentis
Hootus Dei!
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The Hootsman has arrived!
Alright Zargothrax, your evil reign of terror ends today!
My name is the Hootsman
And I am the one and only true god of this universe!
It is time for you to taste the power of Hoots!
With the force of the hammer
And the power of Hoots
The forces of justice attack
Bringing destruction to Zargothrax
The wizard defeated
Dissolves into dust
The Kingdom of Fife has been saved
The legendary Angus McFife has triumphed this day!
And lo, Zargothrax was finally defeated
But in the epic final struggle with the dark sorcerer
The valiant hero Angus McFife realised
He had been impaled by the Knife of Evil
As he watched the lifeless corpse of Zargothrax dissolve into liquid dust
Angus knew that soon he himself
Would be corrupted by the dark power of that cursed blade
And so he resolved that he must make the final sacrifice for the glory of Dundee
He would end his own life by descending
Into the raging volcanic fires of Schiehallion!
Goodbye
My time has come to die
This is the end
I must say farewell
Descend into hell
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The prince of Fife must die
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
And of all the legendary warriors
None will survive
In the fires of ancient cosmic destiny
Evil will rise
To defeat the power of the sorcerer
The prince of Fife must die
To save the galaxy
It is your mighty destiny
Brave Angus McFife!
Initiating interdimensional subspace replay
Target year: 1022. Begin transmission
Transmission complete