A long time ago
When the earth was green {*cheers*}
There were more kinds of animals
Than you've ever seen
They'd run around and play
While the earth was being born
But the loveliest of all was the unicorn
There were green aligators
And long necked geese
Some humpty back camels
And some chimpanzees
Cats and rats and elephants
But sure as you're born
The loveliest of all was the unicorn
Now the Lord seen some sinnin'
And it gave him pain he says
Stand back! I'm gonna make it rain
He says Hey brother Noah! I'll tell ya what to do
Build me a floatin' zoo
And bring some of those green alligators
And long necked geese
Some humpty back camels
And some chimpanzees
Cats and rats and elephants
But sure as you're born
Don't you foget my unicorn
Now Noah was there
To answer the call
He finished buliding the Ark
Just as the rain started fallin'
He marched in the animals two by two
And he called out as they went through (HEY LORD!)
I got your green alligators
And long necked geese
Your humpty back camels
And some chimpanzees
Your Cats and rats and elephants
But Lord I'm so forlorn
I just can't see no unicorns
Now Noah looked out
Through the drivin' rain
Those unicorns were laughin'
And playin' silly games
They were runnin' and playin'
While the rain was pourin'
Oh those silly unicorns
There were green aligators
And long necked geese
Some humpty back camels
And some chimpanzees
Noah said close the door
Cuz the rain is pourin'
And I just can't wait for no unicorns
The Ark rose up
And it drifted with the tide
And the unicorns looked up from the rocks
And they cried
And the waters came down and sorta floated them away (Wait what?)
That's while you'll never see a unicorn
(That's not how it's supposed to end)
To this very day
You'll see green alligators (*starts bawling*)
And long necked geese
Humpty back camels (*bawling*)
And some chimpanzees
Cats and rats and elephants
But sure as you're born (*bawling*)
You're never gonna see (*bawling*)
You're never gonna see (*bawling*)
You're never gonna see no UN-NI-CORNS (*bawling*)
They're all dead!
You know I've always loved this song
It's just one of those things (*bawling*)
I first heard the irish rovers do it when I was a young lad (*bawling*)
It's just always touched me somewhere right here (*bawling*)
It just really means a lot
It means a lot (*bawling*)
It's a long tradition in my family really (*bawling*)
Laughing at the misfortune of unicorns (*bawls harder*)
It's what we do! (*bawling*)
Like it shoudl be on the McKee crest or something (*sobbing*)
Hmmm... (*sobbing*)
What would that be in latin? (*sobbing*) (*bawling*)
Death to unicorns with laughter (*bawling*)
I'll work on that, I'll work on that (*bawling*)
That's really good (*bawling*)
But... (*blows nose really loudly*) {laughter}
(*blows nose really loudly*)
O-ok dude, ok dude that's
That, that's definitely not on the crest (*sobbing*)
... (*sobbing*)
But... but... but... but... but... but... but... (*sobbing*)
But you know what unicorns symbolize right
(*mumbles incomprehensibly. something about unicorns*)
{Laughs} (*whimpers*) (*sobbing*)
WHat do you thinkt the odds are that he played with my little ponies when he was a kid?
{Laughs} (*whimpers*) (*sobbing*)
I'm thinkin' pretty good...{laughs harder} (*sobbing*)
Ok ok! we can change it! we can change it! (*whimpers*)
It's a song. It's not like its set in stone or anything (*whimpers*)
It's not like Shel Silverstein is gonna come down here and shoot us or anything... (*whimpers*) {Laughs}
I hope... {laughs}
Yes... ok...
Now you may think this is the ending to this song (*whimpers* its not?)
But I'd have to tell you Mark that in fact you'd be wrong
(*whimpers* really?)
You see unicorns are magical! So the rain started pourin'
They grew some wings and they took to soarin'
There were green aligators
And long necked geese
Some humpty back camels
And some chimpanzees
But if you're lookin' for the unicorn
Don't be forlorn
The second star on the right and straight on until morn
{Cheers}
See... now it's long been debated why the Irish are so fascinated
With a song where the lyrics are written by Shel Silverstien
{Laughs} it's kinda strange though... (he's not Irish by the way)
Believe it or not yeah...
(Maybe on his mothers side...) {laughs}
We'll work on geneology later
But it's interesting because historically
The unicorn has been the symbol for England
{Ohhh...}
And at the end of the song
All of the stupid playful unicorns...
DROWN!
So for some reason the Irish really like the song! {laughs}
Bizarre though that is! ummm...
And here we come
And change it so all the unicorns
Live and are flyin' high above everybody else and
If we go to Ireland we are definitely not doing this song
{Laughs} (*laughs*)
At least not that way...
(*snickers* I'll give you that.)
Just checking! {laughs} (*laughs*)