Burn like the 4th of July
Cut through the patriot sky
Of the daydream I wrestled through
Saturday afternoon
I couldn't leave it alone
Just before bed I ate like a pro
So my kidneys are letting me know
What a scar my body's become
And I'm a glutton for punishment
My shoulders lose pose and my gut wins
I never learn, I never learn
I never take the pills
I never break the heart
Break the heart—
Burn like the rash in my thighs
Choke down this chocolate pie
Like I haven't had sustenance Since 1968
I try to feed the wrong 'til it's right
I try to find my nobility in the sushi from last night
There are times in my war against time
When I wish that I was eighteen
And my body didn't make a sound every time I bent down
And my dreams still looked like dreams
It's not that I'm not grateful for what I have
And it's not that I'm not proud of what I've done
It's just that I'm not sure that I recognize the beetle that I've become
And I'm a glutton for punishment
My shoulders lose poise while my gut wins
I never learn
I never take the pills
I never shake the need
I never look too far ahead or break speed—
Bumps like what's under my eyes
Bulge from the burger and fries
That I'm constantly pushing into the space where nothing fits
I thought the worst was to feel worthless
But the worst is when a man forgets his purpose
It's metamorphosis; it's not quite hell:
A bottling up in a torturous shell