I think fur is a crime, I protest all the time You should see all my bumper stickers That Firestorm song sure gets me singing along My righteousness never flickers I think P.E.T.A. is swell and vivisectionists go to hell I live to fight the man And if there is ever a cause with no dietary laws I'll be the first to take a stand The animals, I see their pain with ease But don't expect me to give up pizza with cheese The animals, I see their pain with ease But don't expect me to eat a pizza without cheese I know I could be the best vegan the world's seen It's such a shame my doctor says I can't because I need the protein What's right or what's wrong is not a tough decision But animal torture is a part of my new religion Hey, you know that I am down with what it's about Did I happen to mention I need the strength to work out? Because I am building up muscle, I'm a growing boy Such a cruel twist of fate, I'm allergic to soy Excuses, excuses, are not for me! I've wised up, but these leather shoes were free These shoes were free