Hell opened a new wing on the sixth of June and expanded into the area of human, lustful yearnings with a shopping mall the size of Canada and consumer friendly strategies:
"Reasonably priced goods and free parking to cover all your hellish needs".
The red ribbon was cut by Martin Luther, Gandhi and Mussolini in a televised ceremony of epic proportions broadcasted at six o'clock sharp. They all smiled to the cameramen from Diabolos Daily and the Hell Gazette as the brimstone building was made accessible to sinful shoppers of all ages and convictions.
Sadly the C.E.O. could not be there for the opening though his spirit lay thick over the parking lot.
Shamka, the Arab clerk, smiled his largest smile as the customers started seeping through the revolving door and into the sulphur-smelling, muzak-filled mall. Armed with strange copper coins and charcoal check books, ceaselessly searching for Beelzebub's best bargains.
Everything was neatly stacked in monstrous shelves that demanded climbing skills and a complete absence of acrophobia. Several shoppers ceased to hope for happiness already there, returning their coins and crawling back to the surface Dependent, dim and drowning in a self-inflicted loss of dignity.
Those who stayed behind eventually got lost and ended up desperately searching for the emergency exit. They found there was none, and there coins were collected while their check books were torn to shreds.
Luckily they all had credit cards