Breaking up is really hard to do I had my first one, maybe at 22 I think my body count is up to 14 And half of them came from the summer that had ensued Me and my ex had been on different wavelengths And maybe I wasn't fair to her, I ain't no saint Thinking of other women when we would kick it Had to put my phone down as to not bring attention No straight up infidelity but had my foot out the door, and I would look at some hoes And I might text 'em sometimes, and I might send some emojis She was deeply in love with me and I could not reciprocate I had to break it off, my shoulders feeling that lifted weight Shortly after discovered my love for myself had dissipated Trying to make sense of myself when my body on different fragrances I started fuckin' round, and I'm filling holes now And I'm ten toes up and I'm ten toes down Breaking up is really hard to do I had my 2nd one at 27, you Would probably realize that I'm 27 now That shows the urgency within everything I write down See this one hit a little bit different cause I ain't never felt no true love Butterflies in your stomach, can't remember who you was Trying new breakfast spots every week, grading all the potatoes Setting aside a budget for flowers cause she gon' need those Peace in my soul, niche inside jokes The very presence of someone special could feel like home And when you ain't saying nothing conversation still flows It's an Energetic language, and what I'm saying she knows Every day's a brand new uncharted territory Every day I count blessings, I'm very fortuned Try to stay present cause the present is ever fleeting Ironically I thought that time was never leaving But things switch up, getting distant, at the blink of An eye and I was doing everything I could think of It's crazy how life changes getting your pages mixed up She had a death in the family, started changing perspective On me, on life, on her path, on her purpose And whatever I say make her feel like it's diverging Sometimes people gotta discover some things for themselves It hurt me partially cause honestly I knew I could help Maybe paths are meant to be followed Maybe ours will intersect and reconnect for tomorrow If they don't maybe that's fine but that's a tough pill to swallow I Had to take that medication daily, I followed Directions on bottles in a directionless chapter Of life as the ice in my veins get stacked up I'd like to say I'm onto greener pastures But that type of optimism is a challenge