If you love your lady then here's some good advice If you want her to stay with you then don't go treating her nice If you buy her flowers she'll drop you twice as fast So do what Steel Panther does and stick it right in her ass Hit her in the shitter Treat her like a critter Fuck that lady right Hit her in the shitter Treat her like a critter She won't put up a fight If you're at the strip joint hanging out with the guys When you get a table dance just look her in the eyes Tell her that she's ugly and treat her really mean She'd really want to fuck you 'cause strippers have low self esteem Then you can Hit her in the shitter Treat her like a critter Fuck that dancer good Hit her in the shitter Treat her like a critter Just like Ron Jeremy would Hit her in the shitter Treat her like a critter Use your spit for lube Hit her in the shitter Treat her like a critter Screw her poopie tube Don't be retarded, you've gotta listen to my song (to his song) Don't be afraid to get some peanuts on your dong Hit her in the shitter Gotta treat her like a critter Treat her like a critter Fuck fuck yeah Treat her like a critter Woah, she really likes it Treat her like a critter Yeah, my little slut girl Treat her like a critter Oh yeah yeah yeah yeah She likes it in the ass Ooh yeah yeah yeah