I want to tell you 'bout something fun So I wrote you this song If you've ever been to Disneyland You know the lines can be real long But I got a ride that the bitches love And you won't have to wait at all All you've got to do is ditch your boyfriend And give sexy Michael Starr a call I'll take your ass for a weenie ride Spread your cheeks and swallow your pride It's scary like a rollercoaster It will stretch you out so wide Gonna take your ass for a weenie ride Hold on tight 'cause I'm coming inside It's better than a ferris wheel or a water slide It's a weenie ride I want to sing about a thing that's funner than a swing and better than the Monkey bars You can take it on the couch or your water bed or in the back of your Daddy's car And it's open all day, night time too, seven fucking days a week It only shuts down intermittently so I can take a leak So put that snatch on a weenie ride Ride her face down or on your side You'll be amazed what you can fit in there When some leverage is applied Open your legs for a weenie ride You won't be the first to see it and cry Just bring the baby wipes and some astroglide It's a weenie ride Oh yeah Scream for me Honey, won't you try the weenie ride You're never gonna be the same Baby, how you gonna get to Heaven if you can't take a little pain? Step right up for a weenie ride It's even more fun when you're gagged and tied Oops, I think I got a little DNA All over your backside Go on and tell your friends about the weenie ride You can charge admission, baby, I don't mind Even with the big old muff you won't get tonight For the weenie ride Ooh Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride) Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Come spread your Thighs) Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Ooh ooh ooh, Ooh ooh Ooh, Ooh ooh ooh, Ooh ooh ooh) Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride) Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (It's a weenie ride, Yeah) Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Weenie Ride (Baby, baby, baby) It's a weenie ride