When were were a courtin'
Our Jean told me the score
She said won't you take me places
I've never been before
She wanted me to show her things
To give her lots of smiles
I said brace yourself, I'm going to take you
Across the British Isles
So I took her up Ben Nevis
I took her up the Dales
But I couldn't take her up the Snake Pass
After all those ales
I took her up the London Eye
That lasted half an hour
And when we got to Blackpool
I took her up the Tower
I slipped her a sausage in Cumberland
That must have give her strength
Coz in Rhyl sun centre
She did enjoy a length
We tried climbing up Mount Snowdon
But that didn't turn out fine
We were up there for hours, both got stuck
Had to dial 999
Yes I took her up Ben Nevis
I took her up the Dales
But I couldn't take her up the Snake Pass
After all those ales
I took her up the London Eye
That lasted half an hour
And when we got to Blackpool
I took her up the Tower
She enjoyed a ride in Ascot
That horse she did control
Then golfing at St Andrews
But I just couldn't find the hole
At Alton Towers she screamed so much
The customers did talk
And In Gloucestershire I'll have you know
She sure enjoyed the pork
I took her up Ben Nevis
I took her up the Dales
But I couldn't take her up the Snake Pass
After all those ales
I took her up the London Eye
That lasted half an hour
And when we got to Blackpool
I took her up the Tower