I bought a book with Carol Vorderman on the front 'Cause I thought they'd be some pictures of her hairy cunt But instead it was full of detox recipes With celery, lentils and chick fuckin' peas Well, I felt like a dirty trick had been played I'm already so thin there's a rumour I've got Aids I love Carol Vorderman, I think she's a fox But there's only one place I want her to detox Detox my cock, oh, won't you pull it off? I need to get rid of all this off milk from my pods Detox my cock, oh, pull my foreskin back I need to get rid of all this bad juice from my sack, my scrotal sack My sack, my scrotal sack I tried a health farm to get my ball bags clear But they just turned me over and displayed my rear They stuck a hose up my arse and pumped me full of Gold Blend It burst one of my piles and now I'm on the mend I felt like I'd been the butt of something shady Because I already weighed less than Ian Brady I love Carol so much I have to touch my dirt box But there's only one place I'd like her to detox (Can you guess where that is?)