Men with beards, what are they hiding?
Could I handle the truth if they chose me to confide in?
Or would my dead body be found down a railway siding?
Where I'd been murdered by a man with a beard
Where I'd been murdered by a man with a beard
You can't work out what they're thinking in their face
Because they've got hair growing all over the place
You can't tell what they're up to, maybe it's best not to know
Perhaps they're full of hair up here
They've got none down below?
Do they put porno mags in the bushes in the woods?
Do they interfere with kids
And make 'em say, "Thank you" afterwards?
They like hang around in parks and wait 'til after dark
Jump out of the bushes and then fuck you for a lark
Men with beards, what are they concealing?
That facial fuzz gives me an uneasy feeling
But they'll hide my dismembered corpse up in the ceiling
Where I've been butchered by a man with a beard
Where I've been butchered by a man with a beard
Shipman, Bin Laden, Stilgoe, Haystacks
They're all hiding something and that's an actual fact
'Whispering' Bob Harris, why was his voice so soft?
Had he murdered a prostitute up in his loft?
Now, Peter Sutcliffe, the Yorkshire Ripper
He avoided the use of a razor or clipper
They've all got a secret, could be anything
But they're probably part of a pedophile ring
Men with beards, what are they obscuring?
They all seem so confident and so assuring
But to some waste ground, you, they'll be alluring
Where you'll be bludgeoned by a man with a beard
Where you'll be bludgeoned by a man with a beard
Watch out for men with beards
Thank you very much
Thank you and I know that song's still relevent
'Cause I got an email from Cbeebies
Wanting to use it for an advert on stranger danger