My girlfriend fell pregnant cos we didn't take precautions But she won't entertain the thought of having an abortion Look at me, I'm in no state for bringing up a kid So what do I have to do to persuade her to get rid? Oh do I Run an hot bath, chuck her down the stairs Stick a knitting needle up her when she's unawares Make her drink some gin, kick her in the quim Leave a load of marbles on the floor when I'm not in I can't let this situation beat us I've got to get rid... of that fetus But now she knows I'm up to something she's taking extra care She's gone all paranoid and won't let me touch her down there If I'm honest I think I know what she's concerned about Is I'll sneak a coat hanger up her chuff and hook the fetus out Or I could Run an hot bath, chuck her down the stairs Stick a knitting needle up her when she's unawares Smack her in the bump, keep making her jump Try and convince her it'll be born with a stump I can't let this situation beat us I've got to get rid... Of that fetus I won't let this embryo defeat us I've got to get rid... of that fetus