There once was an empire chase Known as a great, great game And one of its rooks came from Stoke-on-Trent And Mortimer was his name An impotent tea-bag spazz Pride of the vicar caste Sent off to Asia, expansion land Determined to be a man Determined to be a man Determined to be a man Determined to be a man Determined to be a man ♪ He loved a nice sag aloo The long, lazy afternoons But soon he was singing a different tune It went something just like this ♪ A billion flies on a horse's tail The spirit of a late, lame Raj Punjabi's finest, bring me your wine list As the news comes across the air today "The tension grows in Afghanistan Carbine bullets could settle the score." I had a crap gin tonic it wounded me Send my way off on one Send my way off on one Send my way off on one Send my way off on one Send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah You know we send my way off on one, oh yeah Send my way off on one, two, three, four