Dogs are barking, birds are chirping The only thing better if I was squirting But there's no one here to love on me today For the maiden's on holiday For the maiden's on holiday I'm a sorry, sorry knight in a horrible castle Hoping to avoid certain societal hassles And I know what they say, but I ain't made of clay For the maiden's on holiday Yeah, the maiden's on holiday I ain't nothing but chivalrous Ain't never been nothing nasty between us She knows where she stands on the heart of a broken man She's gonna be bad no matter what So I might as well go on ahead and act like a butt Any ol' way, yeah, I'm still gonna pay For the maiden's on holiday Yeah, the maiden's on holiday