Thin and unshaved, drunk and mysterious Oh, I must say lifestyle is curious With a little touch of the sniffles And filthy socks Gnawed, crumbled fingernails Never doing tomahawk chops A flaky head dandruff is distinguished Lacquer is red, vain is the varnish What is at the root of this She'll say, "Whatcha got? What participle do you possess," She'll say, "which I have not?" One blustery day we rode out To the Meadowlands We saw and were amazed Then hauled it back into town again Mississippi is a mess sometimes And not only when it rains How come you went back to that malaria island 'Cause our friendship is strained Those were the days When you were so cosmopolitan These are the days My letters they're so maudlin I wrote you an eloquent postcard once About this most exquisite onion soup But of course I never mailed it, though 'Cause it was your turn in the loop, loop Those were the days When you were so cosmopolitan These are the days My letters they're increasingly maudlin