Everything makes me nervous
And nothing feels good for no reason
Waking up, it's rarely worth it
The same dark dread every morning
Senior year here in Mahwah
A new world just around the corner
Leave me behind, let me stagnate
In a fortress of solitude
Smoking's been okay so far
But I need something that works faster
So all I want for Christmas
Is no feelings, no feelings now and never again
There is a faceplate all brown and red that stretches across my mouth
It's worn for protection, nobody gets in and nobody gets out
I used to look myself in the mirror at the end of every day
But I took the one thing that made me beautiful and I threw it away
I was a river, I was a tall tree, I was a volcano
But now I'm asleep on top of a mountain, I've been covered in snow
Yes, I have surrendered what made me human and all that I thought was true
And now there's a robot that lives in my brain and he tells me what to do
And I can do nothing without his permission, that wasn't part of the plan
So now in Rock Ridge pharmacy I will be waiting for my man
But there is another down in a dungeon who never gave up the fight
And he'll be forever screaming, sometimes I hear him say, on a quiet night, he says
"You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser now"
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser
You will always be a loser now
And that's okay