Graduate to better things: square feet and income tax You go back to where you came from And you can't seem to relax Before you know it, everyone you know lives in New York Once they find your favorite coffee shop You just can't go there anymore And mixtapes get much harder once your friends have indie cred The weekend's twice as lonely when you spend it half in bed And the Facebook folks get worried you don't love 'em anymore But it's nothing against them It's just getting accustomed takes some time There's a party in your memory Where you met your college queen But you've left the party circuit For the after-party scene And finding someone friendly's not as tough as you expect But distraction gets the best of you Sometimes this city stinks like sex And when you're feeling confident, you drop it like it's hot And sometimes you're a gentleman, and sometimes you are not And your girlfriend's friends don't seem to know how beautiful they are And it's out of the question But it's hard not to mention, so let 'em know First-timer, new guy Firstname dot lastname I know I've seen you somewhere What are you up to these days? And everyone needs time to get it right, or so you've heard You're on your second internship and looking for a third Your ex-classmates are writing for the magazines you read And the Gmail logo's permanently burned into your screen And sometimes San Francisco seems like it'd be worth a try You might as well get comfortable and let it pass you by But you know damn straight no other place you find will feel like home It's a grand old adventure Nothing gained, nothing ventured Oh God