Dear Sir with love: Tell my father I can't see him anymore And to his lovely wife, I hope I get to meet you soon Dear Sarah Jane: We can hide the body under my front porch Honk twice at midnight if you think we're best off sticking with the plan I wouldn't be so shy, but my girlfriends are always dying I feel their fathers' eyes; they choke me when I try to fall asleep Dear Highland Park: Since it seems I won't be coming out this year Take my engagement ring and place it on the grave Dear Norma Jean: Every song gets better once you've heard it twice I tried to tell you, but the words came out like poison pills again I wouldn't be so shy, but my hands are both made of metal And I would explain it, but I talk through a distortion pedal Hard-to-get is hard when every kiss feels like reverse transcription Arguments are over once they're overacted and overanalyzed