Come up from tub all wild, look like a four-eyed pig from Australia You're like a wine-soaked varicose genitalia You'll be a sloth-like crook who likes to fail to persevere Give me a boat, Bermuda tricycle, I'll disappear Watch what you say 'cause I'll leave you in the woods near the horse And we'll leave you there naked and let nature takes its course Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on John john, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her Everybody's wrong about what turns me on He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john, okay Been driving all night and day just trying to find Route 66 All I found was a couple teenage boys trying to sell their dicks Ate 4,448 Flintstones kids to get my fix We can dock our foreskins and get a real viscous mix When my first son turns seven I'm gonna give him LSD and see what he says Then I'll toss him to his mama and let him suck on some breasts Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on John john, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her Everybody's wrong about what turns me on He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john, okay Your like a Hoodoo fan, I mean oatmeal and rye You're like the prince of darkness doing patty cakes in the pig sty You'll be watching reruns of Wheel of Fortune when apocalypse comes Your brain'll be expanding when God's kingdom comes You're like a retarded Isaac Newton in Johnny Appleseed's mind Got a concussion from an apple, make him clueless in a nine-to-five grind Hooker, you think that I'm a john as I'm movin' on John john, you think that I'm a hooker and you try to book her Everybody's wrong about what turns me on He thinks that I'm a hooker, she thinks that I'm a john