I'm simply crazy 'bout my Andy He's just another word for candy He leaves me feelin' fine and dandy Hmm, Handy Andy of mine Don't need a doctor when I'm all upset In all emergencies he's my best bet Last week he kissed me and I feel it yet Ooh, Handy Andy of mine Sees any kind of symptoms that I've got He know just what it is His treatments never fail to touch the spot I mean, he knows his business When he's around he wraps me 'round his thumb When he's away it seems my brain is numb I watch the clock until he's due to come Ooh, Handy Andy of mine I get so much relief from Andy He always seems to understand me His love is like a shot of brandy Ooh, Handy Andy of mine When he's in Rome he does what Romes do He speaks their language, learns their customs, too In France he sure knows how to parlez vous Handy Andy of mine Up in the Arctic with the ice and snow It wasn't cold enough He sold electric fence to Eskimos Because he was such hot stuff His obligations never make him whine The way he does his duty, it's devine He never fails to lay it on the line Ooh, Handy Andy of mine, yeah Handy Andy of mine