My old man's a Viscount And he wears a Viscount's crown He buys me Cardin trousers Of a tasteful shade of dark brown He got his blue at Oxford And he pays my boating fees He sends me Fortnum's hampers So that I won't get hungry He was my man and he done me wrong He was my man and he done me wrong My old man's an earl now And he wears an ermine gown He sends me an allowance To spend in Eton town He drives a yellow Bentley And he beats me with his wrench He hires me private tutors To help me in my French He was my man and he done me wrong He was my man and he done me wrong My old girl's a duchess And she wears a Hartnell frock She's picked me out a Cheltenham girl Of Suffolk breeding stock My young fag's an MP's son And he warms my toilet seat I thrash him with a whip To make his character complete He was my man and I done him wrong He was my man but it done him good