You asked me why I love you and I said, "I don't know"
And I could tell you were disappointed with that answer so I carried on, said
"I mean I've loved a lot of people in my life, or I thought I have
I guess I've written them all off when they leave, or I leave them
You know, because, that means, doesn't it
That means that it couldn't have been love to begin with
So why not just write it off?
Sorry, that's not really answering your question
I mean, I guess I thought I was so fucking smart when you met me
When I was 23, I finally started to feel like a real person
You know, a human being
Kept the kind of secrets real people keep
Told the kind of lies real people tell
And most exciting of all, I loved like I thought real people loved
Never really staying anywhere
Perpetually in the process of going somewhere
I thought I was dark, and mysterious, and fucking irresistible
Now I look back on 23-year-old me and I think, 'Jesus Christ man, what a dick, what a leech'
Treating relationships like an ice cream factory
Eating all I could handle and then throwing it all up and running away
And yeah, I'm not 23 anymore, but I'm still me, and what's more
I still want to run away sometimes, a lot of times, actually
In that stupid little way I do where I lock myself in my room
And I watch strangers play video games 'til my brains start to leak all over the sofa
And I get high, and I write, and I sing, and I hope it still sounds good when I'm sober
Fuck, sorry
You asked me a direct question
I guess I'm scared that I'm imaginary
That I invent myself every day, so other people don't have to
That who I really am is secondary to what I want everyone else to see
And I'm scared that I'm crazy, but God help me, I'm twice as scared I'm sane
'Cause then what excuse do I have for treating people like problems that need to be solved or explained?
And that's where you come in
You came along, you taught me that people cannot be explained
That we are all ghost stories at the end of the day
And maybe we should just aim to stay that way
Maybe there's a reason why we do the wonderful, horrible things we do to each other
But the reasons are too simple to be satisfying, and then we're left forgetting and re-mystifying each other
'Cause we don't really wanna understand what makes us hurt each other
No, we don't really wanna understand what makes us hurt each other
Ah no, we don't really wanna understand what makes us-
Fuck, sorry
I mean, I've been having a lot of trouble focusing recently
Uh, too much aspartame in the diet, I think
To answer your question, I love you
Because I have to
There is no 'why' about it anymore than there's a reason why water vapor gathers in the sky
Or why the nettles in the garden don't go away, no matter how much the guy downstairs tries to keep them at bay
There is no 'why' about it
There is a 'how,' I suppose, don't really understand it though
Maybe if I dug around a bit in the soil
I'd find out where all this love comes from and what it's for
But then the question would be answered
Ghost story would be over
There'd be very little point in telling it anymore
Right now, I'm happy just to let it be
Let you be you and me be me
Sleep 'til noon and watch TV
Make schemes together
Try not to keep secrets from each other
I just hope to God that we are right when we say "I love you"
I love you
I just enjoy being around you
I don't think I'm going anywhere