I am starting to wonder if I am— uh Attracted to abusive people At the very least these people keep finding me I guess it could be coincidence but I don't think it is I think I go looking for them I think a part of me wants this I think that part of me wants strict rules A relationship based on my ability to adhere to protocol Explicit pass fail criteria With no grey areas Hoops of fire to jump through Long nights of screaming and crying And the peace, the calm that comes after I don't want you to respect or value me for who I am That is not special, anyone can do that I want you to want more from me than that I want you to more from me than me I want someone who will treat me like I treat myself I want conditional love And if you refuse to be this person If you say "Not me, I couldn't do that!" That's okay But if you are willing to learn Then I can teach you