Christmas time's upon us Hannukah is here Babies dressed as Jesus Suddenly Appear You argue with your family You hide inside your car You're eating crappy candy December, wherever you are December is a weird month I don't quite understand It's got its own kind of music And everyone has plans Everything is half price Your ugly sweater's a star You're ranked on a scale from naughty to nice December, wherever you are Well I don't get the advent calendar And eight straight nights is just crazy But I've learned to not ask questions 'cause That's December baby So deck the halls whatever Put Vince Guaraldi on Menorahs in the window And Santa's on the lawn Don't even try to make some sense You really won't get far Just break out the frankincense December, wherever you are