Who could've known that you would be so calm within calamity?
For now you've shown us your confidence just grows when under siege
Who would've guessed when you were distressed it would be your policy
To put your back to the ropes and then,
By cracking a joke, knock us out with comedy?
Well, oh no, who would've known you were so clever to define
Disaster equals laughter over time
Disaster equals laughter over time
I have to admit that I was tempted to believe I might be wrong
When we bound and gagged you and you
Started to brag that you'd planned this all along
But quickly we learned when you were burned you
Would return with words to prove you're tough enough
But you (yes?) failed the test (now confess)
Call in distress (SOS)
Because the British called your bluff
Oh no, who would've known that in this lowly state you'd find
Disaster equals laughter over time
Disaster equals laughter over time
One, two, one two three four
You're one in a Maximilian
A free-standing strong pavilion
No one ever dares to question your opinion
You're one in a Maximilian
You are feared by soldiers and civilians
Holding both sides of the prime meridian
You're one in a Maximilian
So adored by scores of loyal minions
Ooh, you make the ladies turn a shade vermillion
You're one in a Maximilian
You're one in a Maximilian
You are one in a million
I pray in your haste that you would not waste a thimble of this irony
That these land-loving soldiers have a whale on their shoulders
Maximilian von Spee
Well, oh no, who would've known that this is all as you designed
Disaster equals laughter over time
Disaster equals laughter over time
Disaster equals laughter over time