I don't want to die and leave nothing behind That bitch fucked with my head and fed me nothing but lies My Nan died the same week so I was up every night Wide awake in my thoughts still wondering why I hear the same shit in my head like a hundred odd times I try to say how I'm feeling but I'm breaking inside And all this pain that I deal with is more weight on my mind I barely eat so I can never keep this weight on my sides Awake at 5 in the morning trying to say that I'm fine Hate that I'm like this and ill probably be this way til I die Remember taking so many pills I could of taken my life Mistaking people that I trusted for some mates that were sly Or a girl I thought I cared about for blades in my spine I wanna see my mum be happy not see pain in her eyes She just lost her mum and I cant comprehend what thats like All I could do is try be there and say we'll get through the night Every minutes like an hour in a time like this In a time like this I was sinking then got out it now I'm back in this shit And now I'm back in this shit Every minutes like an hour in a time like this In a time like this I was sinking then got out it now I'm back in this shit And now I'm back in this shit I was lost on those bricks I couldn't take your advice I had my back to the wall with my face looking white I don't want my younger brother thinking "maybe ill try it" He was there for me and thats probably what saved my life If the tables turn I'm making sure he makes it alive Ive buried members of my family still shaking and crying At the wake wired coz I hadn't slept for days at a time I could feel my heart break yelling your name at the sky Ate valium every time your face came to my mind And I felt guilty for that but thats the way I survived And I felt filthy for the fact I didn't say my goodbye's My ex said I'm a piece of shit and maybe she's right This got me feeling like a weak cunt At that time in my life I was numb for like three months High every night but I was lower than my feet are Trying to survive at the same time I'm trying to ease up Every minutes like an hour in a time like this In a time like this I was sinking then got out it now I'm back in this shit And now I'm back in this shit Every minutes like an hour in a time like this In a time like this I was sinking then got out it now I'm back in this shit And now I'm back in this shit