Everybody loves a winner (winner)
♪
Yeah, I swear they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
You know I was born up at the top floor
But I came out at the basement
Mom wanted me to be a doctor
But I came out as a patient
Now I get a thousand DMs everyday
I had a fan telling me that I saved him
Saying that he loving everything I make
And I couldn't take a single second out of my day to make his
I'm just getting number everytime I see my numbers
Everytime I see the bottom
Everytime we see each other
Everytime I pop a bottle
Everytime I hit the lotto
Everytime I see tomorrow
I just really want another
I'm just stuck between the gutter in the rain
It ain't pain that I'm feeling
But it's something in the same kinda vein that I'm healing from
I wonder why I feel so little, 'cause I ain't been on the top
I think I'm somewhere in the middle
I swear, they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
So what, so what, so what
Hole on my soul, that shit looking like a donut (yeah)
You and me can laugh together
But I don't think that that's going to put it back together
I've been living like I'm stuck under the covers
I know this'll make 'em proud, but I know they gon' need another
And another and another and another and another
Like I'm DJ Khaled with a motherfuckin' stuttter, okay, yeah
Today, I woke up, grabbed my phone to check the 'gram
I started scrolling
Got a message from a dude without a profile picture
Shit was long as fuck, I thought that he was trolling
So I tried to swipe it out but accidentally must of opened
I said "Fuck it", guess I'll read it, now that it's already loaded
Had a sudden premonition, but it faded in the moment
So I focused, started reading
Lemme try my best to quote it he wrote it, it said
"My homie was a huge fucking fan, used to play your shit everyday
He struggled with depression and he told me that
The music was the thing that always set him straight
But I guess it must have gotten too much for him
Killed himself a couple months back, it's felt so fucking long
But it reminded me of him when you popped up on my page
And I went and started listening to a couple songs, so
Keep doing you, bro"
He followed up with a post from his friend
It was a screenshotof my track
I clicked the profile full of R.I.Ps in the comments
Shit, I couldn't even stomach looking at, but all the sudden
In the instant, everything felt grimmer
Read the name again and realised it sounded familiar
Clicked the DM to see if he had talked to me before
Saw this was the same kid I consciously ignored a couple months ago
I swear, they only love me when I'm not there
I know you trust me but I don't care
I swear, that I don't care
I know you love me but I don't care
Apathy
There's no reason to be mad at me
That's just how it has to be