History's chockful of wisdom On matters involving the heart There are unions meant to be broken And some that should never start You can fall for a woman who's taken Or a mistress who's feeling remorse But you don't want to ever encounter The gal who's in love with her horse Don't fall for a girl who fell for a horse Just to be number two in her world Run from that stable As fast as you're able Don't hitch her trailer Your pickup will fail her Don't do battle When she's in the saddle Run from the stable now From that horseback riding girl Some men won the heart of a mermaid But never of Catherine the Great A royal with love for a stallion A pair they could not separate Suffer through "National Velvet" Then you may just know why A sober Elizabeth Taylor Fell for a beast named Pie CHORUS You don't get between a dog & her bone You don't get between a queen and her throne Don't get between the sole of a shoe and a stone And there's one pair you leave alone You can chew on the grass of Kentucky It won't sprout you two more legs You won't get the speed of a philly From strappin on their food bags You can trot through Eastern Virginia Gallop Chincoteque on all fours No wildfire maiden will tame you Might as well stay on shore Cuz, fella, you ain't no horse CHORUS