Ugly face and big fat ass Surgeon and a diet coke You'd be mad Be the one that you are And you're welcome like a hooker in church Here comes the fire hose dicks Raise your hands Be the one that you are And you're welcome like a hooker in church Louie came down one saturday night Had a thing to say that he thought was right Nailed him up onto to a wooden cross Now he's hanging in the sun with a new haircut Ball head drinks Flat foot pills Be the one that you are And you're welcome like a hooker in church Hate your tits Hate your thighs Well I can sell you pair of new for one hell of a price Be the one that you are And you're welcome like a hooker in church Carrie came down one saturday night Had a thing to say that she thought was right Nailed her up onto a wooden cross