I am Jan Brady, And you must believe that Or forever perish in your doubt I am the soul embodiment of Jan, And I exist to serve the Brady alter For I have become one with another soul, And I have no need for others! * Chorus* Jan Brady has returned Took over my soul and body Then the hairstyle flew up all by itself Never to be changed I am Jan, Jan I am I like to eat green eggs and ham So now you must believe and worship me Or else a lost soul you will be I pick up my lunch from Alice our house keeper I go to school with my Brady brothers We live in the same house But we come from different mothers! *Chorus* I know I cracked the family picture with my bike I was'nt wearing my glasses But I fixed everything with a bat of my eye lashes With my wig, I'll be a smash Polyester plaid bell bottoms, I ain't no TRASH! *Chorus*