A happy start, a sad, sad ending For every minute of the story See as their wills are broke and bending See the good girls in their glory A primary academy, we're a secondary seminary teaching Finishing rinse, and dancing tips and scorn Always concerned with plummeting virginity rates We lecture young girls on how babies are born Children! make a chain Oh, children! make a chain The staff here is severe, yet so altruistic It hurts us more than it hurts them The new girls are tender, the old ones sadistic The late janitress was a gem Don't believe what the boys from next door heard Requirements do include math (A happy start, a sad, sad ending For every minute of the story) We draw straws and put our best foot forward Down the straight and narrow path Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long Forget the things you thought you knew, We'll make a very good girl of you Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long Forget the things you thought you knew, We'll make a very good girl of you A pupil transferred here from Lavender Lake She wrote a winning essay on self-denial Some underage urchins were forced to matriculate, Their records kept here undefiled A neat retreat slips through their fingers Which little girl made the plan? Surely involved were the vespers bell-ringers Down a ladder, through the gate, then they ran! Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long Forget the things you thought you knew, We'll make a very good girl of you Listen to our pretty song, we are happy as the day is long Forget the things you thought you knew, We'll make a very good girl of you And the girls ran out of the schoolyard and up the hill behind. "I'm scared!" said the littlest one. "Don't worry." said the leader. "They could catch us, or they could kill us, But they can never crush our spirit!"