Archive
Spending Friday night alone
I'm reading Campus frat boy porn
Strewn on the table
For my roommate
When he finally gets home
But just one night ago, three flights ago
I'm back in Michigan
Another trip I won't remember,
Or appreciate much when I'm dead
And the hotel where I slept that night
Was surely haunted, then
Because every hour I woke up feeling
So watched and wanted
And I think I remember that
From when we met
Which feels so insignificant
Or maybe odd now to admit
It's all in retrospect
And so I spent the winter bundled up
Pretending I was sane
And giving up
The things I love the most
Because they felt like pain
And it's so obvious
This jaded bunch
We don't believe in ghosts and such
We watch the hunt incredulous
But cannot look away
And you looked at me
Like I was a piece of meat
So I was a piece of meat
For a time
But you were a vegetarian, so I became a vegetarian
Then when you started eating meat, I also started eating meat
And I lied to all my friends
Said I was happy when I wasn't
And you lied to all your selves
Said I could give you what you wanted
But it all feels so much bigger than some lonely blame-filled break up like all our narratives and mortality only distill to
Oh my god, we're gonna die
We're gonna die and maybe it's gonna be alone
We're gonna die and maybe it's gonna be alone and no one will find the things we left behind
Because
Because we
Because we never thought to leave a fucking archive.