Mother you give good advice
Always you mean well
Now I need it more than ever
I'm inside this cell
I'm behind a prison wall
The bed's so hard and much too small
There's no pyjamas here at all
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
They told me they would treat me swell
Tucked inside my little cell
But up to now it's been like h...!
Mother what'll I do now
We're parted from each other
And that's too bad
You're my favourite Mother
Oh, the best I ever had
Tonight I've got a date, you see
But they won't let me have a key
And the warder's won't wait up for me
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
It's hard to pass the time away
I'm in a dangerous mood, I say
I've smoked two cigarettes today
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
First I stand and then I sit
Then I sit and stand a bit
But I can't stand much more of it
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
We're parted from each other
And that's too bad
You're my favourite Mother
Oh, the best I ever had
I got such an awful shock
I asked the time, for there's no clock
And the warder said, "Six months Old Cock"
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
I ordered lunch from soup to sweet
But they forgot the fish and meat
And since the soup there's nowt to eat
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
I've had such a tummy ache
All night long I've been awake
Some castor oil they made me take
Oh, Mother what'll I do now
We're parted from each other
And that's too bad
You're my favourite Mother
Oh, the best I ever had
I've played Peter-fly-away-Paul
I've played tiddlywinks and all
I've written rude words upon the wall
Oh, Mother what'll I do now