Now I'm a young inventor, a chap with good ideas I've built meself a camera, it took me years and years! It's a wonderful invention with special x-ray tricks It can take a picture in the dark and can even see through bricks! I bought meself an album and filled it up with snaps And I've got some lovely pictures of the local girls and chaps! Now I've got a picture of the girl next door In me little snapshot album And I've never had a better snap before In me little snapshot album! The night was dark and the hour was late She was kissing her boy by the garden gate Hey, wouldn't she love to see page eight In me little snapshot album! And I've got a picture of me old grandad In me little snapshot album He's over eighty but a real bad lad In me little snapshot album Although he's an old antique He thinks he's still the village sheik I've got him dancing cheek to cheek In me little snapshot album! Now I've got a picture of the vicar's wife In me little snapshot album Chasing the curate with a carving knife In me little snapshot album! Now what he did was all in fun But it's not the kind of thing that's done I can see he pinched her hot cross bun In me little snapshot album! And I've got a picture of a nudist camp In me little snapshot album All very jolly but a trifle damp In me little snapshot album There's uncle Dick without a care Discarding all his underwear But his watch and chain still dangles there In me little snapshot album!