Now I had a sweetie once upon a time, well she was my ideal
And when she was near I used to feel, well you know how you feel
But I was shy and couldn't tell my love, when I did my knees all shook
So I thought I would say it with music and I bought myself a uke
I learnt this sloppy tune, then one night underneath the Wigan moon
I told my baby with the ukulele, I sung a song of Araby
I told my baby with the ukulele, but she only laughed at me
I played it soft and sad, she didn't care a bit
And then I got so mad I swore I'd make a hit
So I told my baby with the ukulele, I bashed her with it over the head
But oh! She was a pal, I only wish you could have seen that gal
Her hair was brunette type
It had pretty wrinkles like you see in tripe
She's going to have it bobbed this Spring
Now where will the sparrows nest, poor things
Her face, it is so bright, you can't see a blemish on a foggy night
And when she smiles on her own accord
Her face lights up because she's lantern jawed
Her teeth they are divine,
All the colours in the rainbow there you'll find
Black, blue, green and red you bet
She only wants a white one for a snooker set
Her neck, I loved it so, I brought her a present about a week ago
Two little gifts she'll use I hope
I bought her a sponge and a bar of soap
When I went to meet my little maid, let her hear the serenade I played
I told my baby with the ukulele, I sung a song of Araby
I told my baby with the ukulele, but she only laughed at me
I played it soft and sad, she didn't care a bit
And then I got so mad I swore I'd make a hit
So I told my baby with the ukulele, I bashed her with it over the head
But oh! She was a pal, I only wish you could have seen that gal