If you've a pub or a small hotel
You need a license for all you sell
Huh, you may think I'm romancin'
But they even tax you for singin' and dancin'
You need a license, whatever you do
One or two things they've exempted, it's true
Lumbago, the gout, or a touch o' the 'flu
You don't need a license for that
Now I've got a license for chickens to lay
One of them sat on a brick yesterday
And then started cluckin', as much as to say
"He-he! You won't need a license for that!"
We've had a good time
A "wines in the wood" time
If it were duty free
We'd cut the taxes
With our battleaxes
Then roll out the barrel for me
There is much license, you bet on your life
If you keep a cow, then there's trouble and strife
As farmer Dean said when he looked at his wife
"By gum, I'll not need a license for that!"
You need a license for shootin' down game
But I'd rather flirt with a beautiful dame
'Cause I get the sport with the birds just the same
And I don't need a license for that
We sit in the pictures, as warm as a glove
In the back row of the circle above
Two bobs' worth of dark and a basin of love
And I don't need a license for that
We've had a good time
A "wines in the wood" time
If it were duty free
We'd cut the taxes
With our battleaxes
Then roll out the barrel for me
Fishing at Richmond is licensed by law
A chap to his girl said, "Now you hold your jaw
He-he! You know exactly what I'm fishing for
And I don't need a license for that, no sir
And I don't need a license for that