Long hours don't appeal to me, up late I never sit
Early to bed, I've always said, keeps us young men fit!
One evening while in gay Paree, a nice young lady said "wee wee"
I said such things aren't good for me,
I always get to bed by half past nine
An air raid warden shouted "men, expect a raid at half past ten"
I said "No use, it's too late then,
I always get to bed by half past nine"
I never wander around after dark, I pop my nose under the clothes
And I'm up with the lark
Opposite, a girl so slick by candle light undresses quick
Nine thirty five she snuffs her wick,
So I always get to bed by half past nine
I curl my knees up to my chin when into bed I fall
All through the night I'm tucked up
Tight, with my face turned to the wall
Our little hens were making free, the rooster said don't flirt with me
I'm not so young as I used to be,
I always get to bed by half past nine
A bookie bolted sad to tell, the punters all began to yell
He shouted as he ran like - well!
I always get to bed by half past nine
I never wander around after dark, I pop my nose under the clothes
And I'm up with the lark
A sultan said, you look hot stuff, my hundred wives I use no bluff
I said for me one's quite enough,
I always get to bed by half past nine
I heard our old tom cat shout, Maria are you coming out?
But Maria knows what she's about,
'Cause she always gets to bed by half past nine
A nudist said "of clothes I've none, Still I won't be sat upon
It's time I put my nightie on, I always get to bed by half past nine
I never wander around after dark, I pop my nose under the clothes
And I'm up with the lark
My family's too large for our flat, I've got fourteen kids - my hat
But I'm really not surprised at that,
I always get to bed by half past nine