While the jingle bells are jinglin'
And the snow begins to fall
And my Grandma makes her gingerbread cookies
Just across the hall
I'm freaking 'bout what to get you
Then it suddenly occurs to me
The best Christmas present
Is to rock your body
Underneath the fuckin' tree
I wanna rock you hard
This Christmas
I wanna fill your stocking with my Candy cane of joy
We'll have a very merry Motherfuckin' Christmas
I'll drive the love train
Down Santa Claus lane
I'm your little drummer boy
While the eggnog is all noggy
And the fireplace all a-glow
While our bodies are heatin' up
In yuletide places down below
I hope you like my present
It was way too big to wrap
I'm gonna get naughty
All over your body
Come sit on Santa's lap
I wanna rock you hard
This Christmas
I wanna fill your stocking
With my candy cane of joy
We'll have a very merry Motherfuckin' Christmas
We'll drive the love train
Down Santa Claus lane
I'm your little drummer boy
We'll be slushin' like snow angels
'Til the morning
We won't hear the reindeer
Hoofin' up above
We won't hear Santa
Coming down the chimney
We won't see he and my grandma making hot-ass cookie love
But we'll hear him exclaim
As he rides out of sight
He'll fuckin' say:
"Granny I rocked you hard this Christmas (yeah)
I filled your stocking with my candy cane of joy
So have a very merry motherfucking Christmas..."
And the world will start rejoicing
And the choir boys start to sing (dominus tannenbaum)
And the lords a-leaping
Give the ladies in waiting
Their five-ass golden rings
And the seven pipers are piping
The eight maids milking in the snow
And I'll be happy
When I'm gettin' unwrappied
By my Christmas ho, ho, ho
(Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho)
Have a very merry
Motherfuckin' Christmas
Peace on earth, we are the world
And frickin' kumbaya
Have a very merry
Motherfuckin' Christmas
Deck the halls
With your Christmas balls
Fa-la-la-la-la la
La-la-la