Well, Tim, Jeff and me went to the Hollywood Hills
Up to a famous bigshot's party, serving cocaine and pills
All the beautiful people snorting lines by the mile
Hopped up supermodels doing their drugs in style
There was a bowl full of benzies, pot as big as trees
A mountain of cocaine but we forgot our skis
The host of the party sauntered up to our side, he said
"Hey Sloppy Boys! Wanna go for a ride?
I got mescaline and shrooms, morphine and weed
Uppers and downers, meth and L.S.D.
I can make you three fly, you just tell me what you need"
So I leaned in close and said, "Now listen to me"
We're here for the beer
We're here for the beer
Get those other drugs out of here
We're here for the beer
He led us to the keg and he handed us some cups
But no one else was drinking, hey, more for us
Three chicks came on over, they were the perfect shape and size
They said, "We like to laugh and you seem like funny guys"
Well, we all got to talking, maybe this party didn't suck
They were single, ready to mingle and we're guys who like to fuck
The blonde one said, "This is boring and, uh, we're going to run
Back to our house with a hot tub and do you want to come?"
I leaned in close and put my lips to her ear and said
"Sorry, honey, but didn't you hear?"
We're here for the beer
We're here for the beer
Let me make this crystal clear
We're here for the beer
We like our beer in a keg or a cup
We don't do drugs that shit will mess you up
We're here for the beer
Now the three of us don't hold our liquor well
A few cups of beer and we're drunk as hell
As the night went on, we sort of fell apart
A supermodel asked me, "Hey, did you just fart?"
I said "What's it to you? It's a natural thing"
But her boyfriend shoved my shoulder
And said, "Yeah, but it really stinks"
I looked to Tim and Jeff, "Hey boys, we're gonna brawl"
But Jeff was by a shelf with an autographed baseball
The owner chewed him out, "Come on Jeff, that's not a toy"
Tim was talking to Rob Lowe, he kept calling him Roy
At this point, I had lost my hat and car keys
But I couldn't drive anyway, shit, I could barely see
We found a guitar and sang 'Piano Man'
But the guests wouldn't join us, they suggested we scram
Scram, you mean leave? But we barely quenched out thirst
Besides if you want us to leave, you'll have to catch us first
We're here for the beer
We're here for the beer
Get those other drugs out of here
We're here for the beer
We're here for the beer
We're here for the beer
Let me make it perfectly fucking clear
We're here
For
The
Beer