Let me tell you bout our friend named Lois
Who had herself a broken heart
Her man up and left her for a world class painter
Tore her whole damn world apart
When we heard the news
We hatched up a plan
The Sloppy Boys were gonna save the day
So we went to her house
Kicked open the door
Hey, Lois
We're gonna get you laid
We're gonna get you laid
We're gonna get you laid
If it takes us all damn day
We're gonna get you laid
We said show off your muscles and give em a flex
Talk about the size of your Rolodex
You gotta do the do the harlem shake and do the watusi
And say that you used to work out with Gary Busey
Lie about your height and lie about your age
And say a fuckin quote from a Shakespeare play
Tomorrow this town is gonna throw a parade
Cause tonight you dirty dog
We're gonna get you laid
We're gonna get you laid
We're gonna get you laid
Hey hey hey hey hey
We're gonna get you laid
Well there's a guy right there at the end of the bar
Don't forget to mention that you got a new car
Do your coolest walk and stick to the plan
And try a backflip if there's room and if you can
We smelled her breath it smelled like pumpkin spice
That was kinda weird but we were rollin the dice
Stuffed her pockets full of rubbers cuz ooh you're gonna need em
Get over there, Lois
Try out your new freedom
She's walkin right over
Look at her go
Confident as hell
Lookin just like a pro
Chattin it up
This is goin great
But somethings goin wrong she starts to
Hesitate
Oh Lois, you must feel like a jerk
He's not there for love
He's just meeting friends from work
Oh Lois, it's gonna be OK
Honestly there's nothin cool about getting laid
Oh Lois, what's so great about sex?
It's just a waste of time and a waste of latex
I'm tellin ya Lois, oh it's just as well
Getting laid isn't fun, in fact it hurts like hell
Oh Lois
Please believe us Lois
Believe us Lois
We really love ya little weirdo
You're still our superstar
Now will you give us a ride home
Cuz we're too drunk to drive
And we don't
Have a
Car