A closet coat's hung safe in quieter places
The chicken was silent in its cooking glazes
My tongue was heavy and hiding in the back of its cage
I'm scavenging cabinets to make conversation
Looking under couch cushions for sophistication
I thought I had taste but I don't even know what time it is
Ooh, I've got soul, I've got soul
But you'd never know, never know
If you were stuck across the table from me
The terrible dinner guest
Well, I am a middle school boy at the sock hop
I'm clinging to walls to avoid any small talk
I'm only here with my hair combed because my mother made me
The words crossing tables were soft and engaging
But I couldn't quite rouse myself to the occasion
Put a note on my list to learn more talking points about organic gardening
Ooh, I've got soul, I've got soul
But you'd never know, never know
If you were stuck across the table from me
The terrible dinner guest
Oh, if I could only understand
All your literary references
I'd be spinning tables around the room
Only I could think one thing to prove
Ooh, I've got soul, I've got soul, I've got soul
But you'd never know, never know, never know
Stuck across the table from me, 'cross the table
I'm the terrible dinner guest, dinner guest
Ooh, I've got soul, I've got soul
But you'd never know, never know
If you were stuck across the table from me
The terrible dinner guest
So, quiet, I curled on the couch with my blankets
After making a vow for a life's worth of silence
I'm trading my voice in for land legs just like a mermaid
Ooh, I've got soul, I've got soul
But you'd never know, never know
If you were stuck across the table from me
The terrible dinner guest