On the day before my wedding Just a few short years ago My dad sat down and told me, "Son, There's some things you ought to know I'll tell you a little story About my wedding night If you'll handle things the way I did Everything will turn out right "Your Mom and I went to our suite And when the luggage boy had gone I handed her my pants And I said, "Honey, try these on!" She tried, but said, "I can't wear these." I said, "You've got that right! I wear the pants and don't forget What you've just learned tonight So I took my dad's advice And did just like he said to do But then my wife gave me her pants And said, "Now you try, too!" I said, "I can't get into these!" She said, "You've got that right!" You never will get in my pants 'Til you learn to treat me right!" Now my mind's not lightning fast But at once I had a hunch That in this particular area My dad went out to lunch. So I said I've been set up I was blind but now I see And if noone wears the pants I guess that's fine with me. Well, Dad's got an apartment now I guess Mom had enough After all those years of knucklin' down She finally called his bluff As for us, we're really happy, though 'Cause we don't play those games I love my wife and she loves me And we both love the same I love my wife and she loves me And we both love the same