At 10 a.m. I kick if off
With a tuna shake and a Molotov
I pop 8 pills of Imodium
Turn on a marathon on Nickelodeon
Wax my tag, bleach my pits
Give myself epileptic fits
Custom Crocs caress my feet
Pre-game checklist now complete
Tweet some tweets, blog some blogs
All while mobbing on my hog
Hit the store for party essentials
Scented candles and dams – dentals
Fashionably late? Ha, I'm never tardy
Cause guess what b*tches
This is how I party
Sleep is for pussy's so I keep going
I give a lap dance to Lee from Lee's Towing
Then it's time for indoor soccer
With the lights off in a storage locker
Next safe sex no STDs
Got to keep it lock down (banker please)
Sit in a 'cuzzi til we get pruny
Rehearse lines from films with George Clooney
Schmear my head with macaroni and cheese
Then I get it licked off by my Maltese
I fill my fish tank with pure Bacardi
Cause guess what fishes
This is how I party
This is how I party