My teacher always told me, I should get some rest
I gotta be a prodigy for that Monday morning test
But I said, "Miss, good luck, you better wish me the best"
Just before I dozed off and went back to bed
See, I'll be munching on the biscuits at the back of the room
While Johnny's on ket and Jed's on shrooms
And then there's Katie all ketted, Keira doing balloons
I see the lads, they're sticking stuff up their nose at noon
It's the teenage culture
Pain is pimples, acupuncture
Bleeding lips and numbness ulcers
And misleading infrastructure
Got your paperclips and clingers
And your SoundCloud rapper singers
Filter papers, riz and ringers
Adolescents and beginners
How we can't sleep, see the morning sun
With our small talk 'til our days are done
Try to hibernate when we try to run
And up again 'fore the morning sun
Bedtime blues with your Biff and Chip
Got your brandy breath and your liquor lips
So, speech is slurred after just one sip
Bedtime blues with your Biff and Chip
It's time for Monday morning games, guess we must abide
No composure on the pitch, it's just the five-a-side
But the goalie's pretty shit and ball-to-hand collide
It's the hand of god the ref' just let it slide
Now Miss is bribing us with stickers
Oh, could she get any thicker?
But with liquor, we'd consider
Not the ten-year-olds in kickers
'Cause how we wanted to be older
That's what we always told her
So chin up fallen soldier
We're just trying to stay sober
It's the teenage culture
Pain is pimples, acupuncture
Bleeding lips and numbness ulcers
And misleading infrastructure
Got your paper clips and clingers
And your SoundCloud rapper singers
Filter papers, riz and ringers
Adolescents and beginners
How we can't sleep, see the morning sun
With our small talk 'til our days are done
Try to hibernate when we try to run
And up again 'fore the morning sun
Bedtime blues with your Biff and Chip
Got your brandy breath and your liquor lips
So, speech is slurred after just one sip
Bedtime blues with your Biff and Chip
It's time for independent reading, got my Biff and Chip
I swapped the water for whisky 'bout to take a sip
So then my teacher takes a look and tells me, "Get a grip"
But now the class is looking boring, "All right Miss, in a bit"
She says, "Come back to your seat, I'll let your parents know"
So I put on a little limp, "Miss, I hurt my toe"
She says, "All right to the nurse then, you'd better go"
I'm not heading to the nurse now that was quite a show
It's the teenage culture
Pain is pimples, acupuncture
Bleeding lips and numbness ulcers
And misleading infrastructure
Got your paper clips and clingers
And your SoundCloud rapper singers
Filter papers, riz and ringers
Adolescents and beginners
How we can't sleep, see the morning sun
With our small talk 'til our days are done
Try to hibernate when we try to run
And up again 'fore the morning sun
Bedtime blues with your Biff and Chip
Got your brandy breath and your liquor lips
So, speech is slurred after just one sip
Bedtime blues with your Biff and Chip