Head underneath my pillow Melting fast like April snow I try to breathe, but it comes slow So I make do with what I know I lament in the pouring rain I'd rather wash away my pain Can't spare the time to entertain Afraid of loss, afraid of change So I keep lying, lying to myself Tell myself I don't need help Lie myself right into hell Oh, I keep lying, lying to myself The moon is laughing at me now Voices echo in and out I made my peace with a war of doubt So I tilt my head back underground My brother took the brunt of it While I found weakness in my grip Took nine years to see what I missed Afraid that I'm too late for this So I keep lying, lying to myself Tell myself I don't need help Lie myself right into hell Oh, I keep lying, lying to myself