Yeah I know I may have hurt you but does that make this okay?
I see your coping mechanism and it ruins my day
But I'm afraid to stand up for myself
Afraid of what I'll say
So I find myself slowly fading away
118 new messages
199 missed calls
After all that time spent on the
Phone trying to help you get through it
Trying to ease the fall
I did what was best for me
And in the end you'll see it was best for both of us
I'm a mess
I'm broken
But you are too
We are separated
To be fixed to new
So don't make me the villain
Just 'cause we weren't meant to be
That's not down to my control
I had to leave
You don't know how long it took me to block you
I found it hard so don't act like I was never good to you
I felt like I was trapped
Forced to stay
But I had friends that told me that it was not okay
So I left before it got too much
I wasn't prepared for when you made the first punch
I said I wanted space but you wouldn't give up
Made it harder for yourself but it would never be enough
'Cause what went on between us
Seemed fine
Until I looked a little closer
And saw the inside
I chose to lose you
To save myself
To stop me being someone else
I thought I was strong
But you knew more
I'd been manipulated
Left brain dead
And sore
What I didn't want to do
Was start a fight
Because you know that's not me
You know that's not right
But I felt like I had no choice
I'm still stuck under your shadow
Screaming for a voice
But it came
It's here now
I'm speaking out
I'm not playing the victim
I'm out and proud!
It maybe wasn't toxic
But I know you're not blind
And I know you know deep down that there was bad times
So go on
Ask for me back
Do it again and again but don't expect me to crack
I've grown, you've seen it
More than ever
So take credit for that
I don't
It's whatever
You may think I've finally got what I want to
(Thought I was strong)
But you're just looking at what I've achieved
I was there for you before
(But you were stronger)
But this one? It's for me
I chose to lose you
To save myself
To stop me being someone else
I thought I was strong
But you knew more
I'd been manipulated
Left brain-dead
And sore
I know you're listening
And I know it hurts
You've got to be strong
You've got to learn
I left because I needed to and you told me you knew that
So if you ever really loved me this is how you prove that
When I say I needed time
I'm telling you I meant that
I'm broken
I'm fixing myself
I hope you understand that
I know I lost you
To save myself
I'm not becoming someone else
I know that I'm strong
But you know more
I felt manipulated
Left brain-dead
And sore